Did you see how long Hershey's tongue is??? Even mom is stunned...

Mom didn't chicken out on her quest to get a tattoo and had it done 2 weeks ago. She started to source for a design online and when she first saw the pic, it just felt 'right' hence she ended up choosing the pic of 2 cherubs to represent Lucas and Chloe. It's on her lower back near the hip area and surprisingly, she claimed that it wasn't painful at all, just a little 'ticklish' and for next 2-3 days after that, there was a bruised feeling.

Dad was so inspired after mom had it done and he liked the design so much that he too went to do it the following week!! His tattoo is on his shoulder/ back area... now dad's got 2 angels on his shoulder! He also added the words 'Budded on Earth to Bloom in Heaven' beneath the cherubs (which mom also added eventually).

This pic on the right was taken right after the tatto was done, so it looks a little red and puffy.

Now dad and mom have matching tattoos and they are loving it totally. Although Lucas and Chloe will always be in their hearts and on their minds, now they have something 'tangible' to look at whenever they think of them or miss them.

Happy 10th Birthday to my darling Huskee boy... may you have many more happy years with us.

*** URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT ***

It's truly tragic and embarassing, but I have just realised that Huskee should have been celebrating his 10th Barkday on Sunday, not 11!! I don't know why I had the idea that he'd be 11.. Must've got my years wrong.. anyway no excuses for this especially when I'm supposed to be his mom **hangs head in shame**. Then again, I am kinda glad that he's only 10 and not 11 cos it'd mean that we have more time together right?

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Everyone can recognise that handsome face on the right? Apparently, the owner of that handsome (albeit a little grumpy) face is turning 11 years old this Sunday... they say it translates to 77 years in human years, and this makes me the most senior member in our family. **ahem** Yes, I am even older than grandpapa... WTF??!

Ok someone get me a senior citizen's concession card, dentures and a walking stick already...

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(Shane) I find it so hard to believe the tiny little 2 month old pup that I brought home 10 years and 8 months ago is now a 11 year old 'senior'. He'll always be a puppy in my eyes and even though we now have a new addition, i.e. Hershey, I still love Huskee as much as I did, iin fact even more than the first laid eyes on him. He taught me how to love unconditionally... he doesn't judge me by my failures in life... he does not expect anything from me, other than the occassional tummy rub.

He will always be my very first doggie.. my very special, funny, grumpy little boy with crooked teefies.

If Chloe was still with us/ inside me, this would be her 32nd week and even if I went into premature labour now, Chloe would have had a great chance of survival without any of those dreaded complications. Why couldn't I have these few extra weeks, 8 to be exact, which would have made such a huge difference between her life and death? These few extra weeks would have saved me from all the heartache and shedding so so much tears. These few extra weeks would have made me a 'real' mummy. These few extra weeks would have changed our family unit and made it complete. These few extra weeks would have changed my life forever.

I have been toying with the thought of getting a tattoo in the past but never did it because I was afraid of the pain. Now seems like the 'right' time to do it because I don't think any physical pain can surpass the pain that my heart went through when I had to go through labour twice with the full knowledge that I won't have a baby to bring home at the end of it. The tattoo which I thought of getting will defintely be somehow related to Lucas and Chloe. It's not that I need something to remind me of them.. this won't ever be necessary cos they will always be in my heart and on my mind, but I really wanted something 'tangible' that I can look at, feel, etc.

Sorry, just wanted to vent and let off a bit of steam cos I am having a bad day... I miss them more than I dare admit.

Mom's finally back from her short vacation with Aunty F!! We are proud (and relieved) to add that Hershey is still in one piece and looks exactly like how mom left her before she went away, so I guess dad did a fairly good job at taking care of her.

We almost could not recognise mom when she came home although she was gone for only 4 days because now she resembles a character out of Little Mermaid. I think it's called Sebastian.. LOL!!Mom and Aunty F spent a little too much time by the pool (like 5-6 hours every day) and both ended up being sunburnt despite all the sun screen that they applied.

Some nice pics taken at the beach...

Status updates on the pups:

This one is Alive and Playing

And this one is Alive and ummm.. ahh... Sleeping.. no no.. I mean Meditating..

Mom spent over 2 hours at the bookshop checking out on books about miscarriage, recurrent miscarriages, dealing with grief, death, guardian angels... and dogs. She ended up getting a few books, including this one. I think it spells bad news for Hershey and I... (more so for Hershey than me though).

Mom will be going for a short holiday to some seaside resort this coming week with her best friend (aka Aunty F). Mom and Aunty F have known each other for 17 years and have been each other's pillar of strength through the ups and downs of their lives. Aunty F had been there for mom and dad when they lost Lucas, and now she's also here for them as they are grieve for Chloe AND Lucas.

Dad will be alone with Hershey for the next 4 days while I will still be spending my time at GrandParent's Day Care.. I can tell that mom is a little worried about leaving Hershey completely in dad's care because while he loves Hershey heaps, he can sometimes get too carried away with his work... like forget to take her out to pee/ poo at the appointed time, (over)feeding her, refilling her water bowl, giving her a treat/ bully stick before he goes to work in the morning...

I think mom is worrying too much but well, being the fillial son, I have suggested that she can use my blog to put down the list of 'To Do' things for dad in case he forgets (Shane: I do admit that I think too much and worry too much at times... is it just me or is there anyone out there who does NOT think I am looney??)

1) Please let Hershey out for her last pee pee before you go to bed

2) Please DO NOT overfeed her while I am away in your attempt to 'beef her up'.. The (burgeoning) size of her **cough** bum **cough** is begining to concern me

3) Please don't forget to refill her water bowl every morning

4) Do try and leave her some treats and bully sticks before you leave the house

Oooh and since I am at it, can I also include just one more thing:-

5) Water my (dying) plants --- Since they aren't officially dead yet, they still need water

6) Please don't forget we have a dinner appointment on Thursday eveing

7) And don't forget that I love you heaps and will be missing you like crazy!!

A bright green package arrived at our doorstep a few days ago. Mom gave a little shriek and hid it away in the drawer saying something like she only wanted to open it on her birthday. WTF.. she did not even let me sniff it.. I think she forgot that I am the boss in this house and I need to know (and sniff) everything that enters into this house.

I found out that the package came from the very faraway Gooberstan, from Stanley, Stella and their Girl. Mom opened the package on her birthday and she started leaking B.I.G time when she saw what was inside. It puzzled me a lot because normally when I receive presents, I am usually ecstatic, overjoyed, jubliant, delighted (ok you get the idea right?)... you won't normally cry when you get a present right??

(Shane) The name of this necklace is 'Love Inside and Out'... It's a beautiful name for a beautiful necklace.... something that I'll always always treasure and wear with pride so that my 2 angels know that they are always close to their mummy's heart.

THANK YOU Stanley, Stella and dear dear Lisa..

Joey sent our mom this link of a video from YouTube of a super duper talented Border Collie named Gin. If you have not seen it before, I'd recommend you to watch the video here.. Gin is so talented!! It seems like Gin's got a sense of rythmn and can dance real well. Hmmmm... so how come the Border Collie that I have at home is sooooooo different from Gin??

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3rd August - It marked the first year anniversary that my (not so) little sister, Hershey, came home to us. Dad saved Hershey from a pet store and Hershey was his birthday present to mom to cheer her up and keep her busy after they lost little Lucas. Dad also thought that I may like a sibling to play with, so that was how we ended up with Hershey.

The past 1 year really went by too quickly, but I'm proud that we survived the first 365 days... Now Hershey is an integral part of our family and despite all the headaches, destructions and nightmares that she'd caused, we cannot imagine not having her in our family.

We love you so much and feel blessed to have you in our family, Hershey Girl!

4th August - Yesterday was mom's 32nd birthday. Sadly for the 2nd consecutive year, there isn't any 'celebration'. It just did not feel right to be celebrating anything so soon after losing little Chloe. The night before, mom went to my Godma's (Scuba's mom) house for dinner and sweet Aunty S (Helios' mom) surprised mom with a lovely and yummy birthday cake.

Somehow mom leaked a lot yesterday... she said something about how she 'lost' more than she 'gained' during the past 2 years... **pause**.. Correction, although she did lose 2 babies, there's something she did gain... a lot of weight!! (Better run and hide before mom finds out)...

Farewell Charlie... You will be missed.

Greg, Brooke and Opy - May all the wonderful memories that you have shared with Charlie help you through this sad time.