Saturday, July 11, 2009

Shane here... I 'borrowed' Huskee's blog to do an update. I went back to the hospital for a scheduled check-up on on Thursday moring because when I lost Chloe, the doctors took A LOT (something like 8-10 test tubes) of my blood to run some checks on the likely cause that could've caused the water bag to break prematurely for the second time. The medical term for this is known as Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes (PPROM). I think I am becoming a expert on this because I have been reading up SO much about this in the past 2 weeks.

The night before the check-up was really hard... I was torn betwen hoping to found out the root cause of what went wrong, i.e. that there is something with me/ my body that caused the recurrent miscarriages OR to hope that they cannot find out anything wrong with me/ my body and everything is 'normal'. Either way, it won't bring Lucas or Chloe back... either way, I'm going to be absolutely terrified if I ever do get pregnant again.

The doctor that I was supposed to see is the same one who delivered Chloe. He was really empathetic and patient because he took the time to go through all the test results and answered all the questions we had. When he delievered Chloe, he actually made the effort to ask us if we had a name for her, and when we told him her name, he addressed Chloe by that instead of using a generic term fetus, baby, etc. This little gesture touched me a lot because it made Chloe 'real' and I felt that it gave her some respect that a doctor recognised her as a 'being' rather than a fetus. Somehow I get pretty upset when the documents referred to her as 'fetus'.. and the 'cause of death' stated is 'abortion'. I DID NOT abort my baby!!!!!!!!

In a nutshell, most of my tests results did not indicate anything unusal which could have caused the PPROM... no diabetes, no bacteria, no Parvo virus, no abnormal antibody in my blood... However the docor recommended for me to go back in another 6 weeks time to redo the tests again (that means another 8-10 test tubes of blood) as my hormones are still affected by the pregnancy and the results may not be 100% accurate. The 2 key tests that the doctor wants to really look at would be the Thyroid test and the one for Thrombophilia, both of which could be a cause for recurrent miscarriages. Well at least he is taking our case seriously and trying to investigate deeper. From what I have read/ heard/ been told, most doctors do not take miscarriages seriously enough to run detailed checks until a woman had 3 successive miscarriages.

Apprarently it'd take 6-8 weeks for the pregnancy hormones to clear. The doctor kept telling us how sorry he was about the sudden and unexpected loss of Chloe and seemed genuinely concerned. It kinda touched me that a 'stranger' whom I've only met once before showed empathy and concern, and at the same time was able to be honest and factual when answering our questions.

The results (or lack of) was more frustrating/ upsetting than I had initially expected. I just want to know WHY I lost my 2 babies and guess I'd have to wait longer to find out... or maybe it is something that I won't ever find out ever.


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Sometimes we aren't meant to know 'why'

It sounds like you have some good professionals to help you figure out what you are meant to figure out...

We'll cross all we can for you!

Khyra and Phyll

Lacy said...

w00fs, i really hope they can find out what is wrong, and u and hubby can have a happy healthy baby..ur dr sounds like he is a caring person, and mayb he just might b the one to help..ur always in my prayers..


D0gl0v3r said...


Maggie and Mitch said...

We think your mom is very smart to investigate all she can, even though it will never bring back Lucas and Chloe. Being totally informed is a good thing!
Hugs to your mom!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Penny, Poppy & Patches said...

I sounds like you have a very unusual doctor! Most of them just want you out the door so they can get on to the next patient. We really hope your doctor can find out what the problem is and fix it so you can finally have the baby that you want so badly! We'll keep our paws crossed for you.

Poppy, Penny & Patches

Aki and Poopie said...

aunty shane,

we are sorry to hear that you would still have to wait longer to know the reason for all these.

we know that things would continue to be difficult from hereon, and we would just like to say that we will always be here for you and we will continue to pray that someday things will turn out for you,uncle mark, and huskee and hershey.

please take care of yourself always. we love you!

drooly kisses,

Aki, Poopie and George

Abby said...

Hi, Shane...

I'm so glad your Doctor is so caring & compassionate...And, I hope he can find some answers for you...

You are in my thoughts & prayers everyday...

Abby's Mom, Pat xxxxxxoooooo

Lorenza said...

Yes, it sounds great that your Doctor is trying to find out what is happening.
The answers will not bring to you Lucas and Chloe but you will have an explanation.
Please, take care
Kisses and hugs

the 4 Bs said...

we hope that you can possibly correct whatever is causing this to happen. it's very sad, but not your fault.


Brownie said...

I'm so glad that you have a great doctor helping you find out the cause. More hugs and kisses for you and your family.

Ludo van Doggy said...

I agree with Khyra and Phyll, it's human nature to want to know the why's, but sometimes it's something we just can't know.

I do hope the tests can give you some peace though.
hugs, Dee(Ludo's Mum)

Dawn said...

Sometimes not knowing is the worst. Hopefully you will be able to learn something about what is going on. That might help you understand. I hope so. -Katie the sheltie's Mom.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

It must be terribly hard waiting, not knowing, not sure you want to know, but needing answers. We hope they can find an answer for you!

Stanley said...

Sweet Shane!

Sounds to me like that doctor is a keeper. I'm glad he seems to understand that you're missing Chloe and wanting to find out whatever answers you can find. I hope if there is anything specifically wrong that it will be something that can be easily treated.

We here in GooberStan think about you, Mark, Chloe & Lucas, and the pups every day. We wish we could be there to hug you!

Goober love & smooches,
Stanley & Lisa

Toby said...

Sounds like you have a very good doctor and hopefully they will be able to figure it out. You are always in our thoughts and prayers. We love you!

Tobes & Joyce

Martha Basset said...

It is only natural to ask 'why' but as Khyra said sometimes things happen and we never know 'why'.
It is essential though to explore everything and find out as much as you can.
As you say it will never bring Chloe back but it may help you feel more informed about the next step.
I am glad you have a caring, sensitive doctor who understands this was your baby and she certainly did exist.
It must have been a hard trip back to hospital.
You continue to be very much in our thoughts over here in Scotland.
Take care xxxxxx

Joe Stains said...

I am sure you are terribly frustrated, the big question must be WHY? but I guess its not meant to be known. It sounds like you have a very good doctor so we are glad for that.

Snowy and Crystal said...

we will keep praying that your mommy and daddy will bring you a skin brother/sister one day :)

wet licks


Dear Shane and Mark,

Mommy is so happy you have a good doctor now that will treat you the way you need to be treated. I hope he can be your regular doctor now. Calling Chloe by her name was very special. You are never far from Mommy thoughts & prayers. Mommy told you her sister Frances's stuggles to have a child and she ended up with a loving adopted baby boy and 2 girls she finally had. What she didn't tell you was that her Mommy and Daddy waited 7 yeard and had misdcarrinages and stillborns before Frances was born and then they ended up with My Mommy and two other girls. Si you see never ever give up hope. Mommy says that Lucas and Chloe are having a good time at the bridge with that little imp Jody and Samantha will never let anything happen to them.

{{{huggies}}}....Mona & Mommy too!!

Peanut said...

We are glad you have such a good doctor who is helping you.

Raising Addie said...

Hello Shane!

It sounds like your doctor is very knowledgeable and it is wonderful that he is compassionate as well.

My best friend that I have known since birth has been trying to have a baby for many years know. She has issues with her thyroid and has not been able to even get pregnant at this point but that does not stop her from trying and working with her doctors.

Keep you chin up Shane. We know that your doctor will find the answer that you are seeking.

Give Huskee and Hershey big hugs from us.

We are praying for you.

Lots of Luv & Kisses
Addie, Lucie, and Hailey

The Great Rock Eater said...

I'm glad your doctor is taking the time to walk through everything with you and not just rush you out the door like some doctors do! It's also nice that he uses Chloe's name and that he recognizes that she was a part of your family and NOT just a fetus! And I am so sorry they put that on her paperwork.

Pedro said...

It sounds as though this is a doctor to keep. I'm glad he treated you and Chloe with the concern and respect you all deserve. Following up with the tests is definitely a good idea. We hope that everything comes back normal and that if you do decide to try again, you do so without fear. We're always thinking about you and hope that each day gets a little easier.

Pedro & Rachel

Simba and Jazzi said...

Our hearts go out to you in your time of pain.

Simba and Jazzi xx

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

I agree with Phyll, sometimes we are not meant to know why, these terrible things happen.

Your Drs sound really good and understanding.........

My Mum lost a baby when she was six months pregnant, he would have been my older brother.

She, like you, went through the terrible trauma of it all.

In those days they had no sentiment, the medical profession I mean, and she was not allowed to mourn him.

In any way.

She told me all this years later. There are no 'reasons' perhaps for this kind of horrible thing to happen, but please take heart, my Ma went on to give birth to me, with no worries, no problems.

She was also looking back, a much older mother than you would ever be, nearly 40. And she gave birth at home ( we are really in the dark ages now considering I am as old as the hills!) but what I am trying to say to you, Shane, is.......never give up hope, keep the faith. One day, it will happen for you.

My heart is wishing this with every fibre of its being.

You are a good person, and one day, you will be a wonderful mother.

Your friend, Jeannie xxxxx

The OP Pack said...

It is so nice to know that there ARE some doctors out there with a caring way. That was just so touching that he referred to you little one by name. We hope that you are able to get some answers but many times that just doesn't happen. We wish you lots of luck and hope things get better.

Hugs, the OP Pack

Molly,Taffy and Monty said...


We are so glad that there is a doctor who has the time and understanding to listen to you and who wants to help you.

Take care.

Molly, Taffy and Monty

Mango the Maltese kiddo said...

Dearest Auntie Shane,
Can I climb onto your lap to give you a nice hug and kiss.
The doctor who deliveried baby Chloe is a thoughtful, compassionate doctor, I admire his caring heart.
My mom works in the hospital here, I remember she saying that many many patients will remember a good bedside manner that touches their hearts.
Maybe later, auntie Shane, please write to the medical board of that hospital to tell them how caring, honest, professional your doctor is.
And please read the our letter in the previous post.
Huskee and Hershey, please visit and cheer Snowy and Crytal up about their 3 years blogging, their mom is not with them, that breaks my fragile heart, sob..sob..
Love y'all

Agatha and Archie said...

We are glad you have a compassionate doctor..that can make a big differance....Sending tons of hugs LOve A+A

Thoughts said...

We will continue to pray for you all, so sorry for your loss... crossing paws that you will be okay and find peace :)

Benson, Gibson, Sasha & Theodore

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

I was thinking a great deal about you, when an old friend came to mind.

Lovely girl, all she wanted was some babies. And she had endless problems, totally. I won't go into details but there were lots of sad losses along the way.

So one day, my friend gave up trying. And adopted a lovely wee baby, a boy, perfect in every description.

The perfect model as she described him at the time.

Then, my friend, after all these years of trying, got pregnant naturally, no issues etc, no probs, just natural. We were all so pleased. This prob happened, looking back because she was so relaxed etc.

Then again..........a few years later, much to our surprise, considering her record, she got pregnant again.....and she gave birth to another wonderful new baby. A boy.

Moral of this story is........don't ever give up. If is meant to be, it is meant to be.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Jeannie xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Simba and Jazzi said...

Our Mummy nearly cried over a gingerbread man in Tesco today, she had to walk out of the shop. So crying over the TV seems pretty normal after what you have all been through. Poor stuffie, his eyeballs fell off lol.

Simba and Jazzi xxx

Lady Kaos said...

We are very happy to hear you have a great doctor. We also hope that there is nothing serious going on in you and that they will figure out how to help you.
Love Kaos & Hilary

Two Schnauzers from New England said...

Hi, everyone -

Your doctor(s) seem to be the exception instead of the rule. We think of you all constantly!

Love -

Hershey and Kaci