If you can see on the left column under 'SUN', she's actually used it to track the week of her pregnancy. It's something that she'd started doing once she found out she was pregnant. So this is 'supposedly' the 18th going on 19th week IF she did not lose the baby. And of course there were other 'reminders' lying around on her desk, like the half eaten bottle of vitamins, the pair of flat sandals under her desk...
After she got through the first day in one piece, the second day was a little better until someone asked her 'Are you pregnant?' She was stumped for a reply... should it be 'Oh yes, I was pregnant but not anymore now. Thank you for asking.' or 'No I am not, but I used to be?!'
In the afternoon, she received a beautiful bouqet of geberas from somepup who is so very thoughtful and sweet. Jay sent this as a surprise to cheer mom up, knowing that she had a tough time on her first day at work. Mom was so touched... And it definitely lifted her spirits! THANK YOU, JAY (and Auntie Julie for paying for Jay's purchase with your ummm.. credit card!! Please don't scold Jay ok?).
Huskee's mom --- I do apologise if Huskee's blog had been very 'negative' and filled with gloom lately. I would love to be able to go back to 'before' where I can blog about happy stuff. It's just that there really isn't anything fantastic/ good that's happening in our lives nowadays and nothing really worth talking about. Actually, nothing seems to matter anymore...everything seems so mundane and meaningless... There used to be so much to look forward to, i.e. the new house followed by the baby's arrival. Now the house complete but it'd never be called a 'home' cos it is incomplete... Our baby is not there to complete the picture and turn our 'house' into 'home'.
Nowadays, writing the blog has somehow turned into my own 'diary' (oops.. sorry Huskee!!)... It's become very 'theraputic' for me because this is where I feel I can let out my real emotions and where I won't be judged or have to put up with cruel remarks. The only downside is that I could be boring everyone to tears with my sad 'life story'... !! Seriously, I know that no one wants to read a sob story... I'd much rather read something funny and cheery, so I won't blame you if you decide you don't want to visit this blog anymore!
Tomorrow is hubby's birthday. I don't think there'd be any fancy celebrations this year cos we are just not in the mood to celebrate. Also, it just feels so wrong to be 'celebrating' when we've only just lost Lucas. People say that something like a miscarriage can either break a couple up or strengthen the relationship. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I do know that I love him so much and am so grateful to him for being so strong during my weakest moment. I wouldn't know how I could've managed to get to this stage without him.
Special message to Lucas' Daddy -
Happy Birthday to you, Darling...
With lots of love,
Your wife & sons (Huskee Boy & Angel Lucas)