Mom is still at home this week. Her medical leave officially ended last Fri but her boss suggested that she work from home and only return back to the office when she feels that she is ready. Physically she feels fine... but emotionally, I guess it'd take a while.
Over the past week, mom's received some comments from her 'friends' that made her so sad... (I feel like biting the bum bum of those people who made the comments!!). One of them told her that 'the mourning period is over' and that it's time she 'faces reality'. Pawsonally mom feels that she does not need to account to anyone other than to herself and to dad, about how long she takes to grieve. She's already faced the reality that she lost her baby, I mean how else can you account for the fact that the pregnancy symptoms are mostly gone and her used to be pregnant womb now lies empty?? Moreover, it's been only 3 weeks since she lost her firstborn... that is a very much wanted and loved baby, so is that really 'too long' a time to grieve??
The other comment she received was 'it's ok, you are still young, you can try again'... it's like 'hello??'... that baby is a LIFE. It's not about trying again... the next baby will be another life. He/ she will not and cannot replace the one that was lost. Probably a miscarriage is not treated as a form of death by most people. To them, it could be more like a medical condition which you can recover from... like flu??
Things were just begining to improve a little bit over here but after getting those comments, mom felt as though someone ripped open her wounds all over again...
Mom's learnt something from this... When you don't know what to say, it's best not to say anything at all... maybe just let the person know that you care and will be there for him/ her if needed, but not offering so-called 'advice' when it hurts the person even more.