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Monday, July 7, 2008

How's every pup doing? Hope that you've all got a wonderful weekend, especially for my friends over in the US who celebrated 4th July. I bet the fireworks must be lovely. My mom always loved fireworks and thinks that they are very romantic (??!!). I hope my Baby does not think that fireworks are romantic cos I am terrified of them... *shudders*...

Mom is still at home this week. Her medical leave officially ended last Fri but her boss suggested that she work from home and only return back to the office when she feels that she is ready. Physically she feels fine... but emotionally, I guess it'd take a while.

Over the past week, mom's received some comments from her 'friends' that made her so sad... (I feel like biting the bum bum of those people who made the comments!!). One of them told her that 'the mourning period is over' and that it's time she 'faces reality'. Pawsonally mom feels that she does not need to account to anyone other than to herself and to dad, about how long she takes to grieve. She's already faced the reality that she lost her baby, I mean how else can you account for the fact that the pregnancy symptoms are mostly gone and her used to be pregnant womb now lies empty?? Moreover, it's been only 3 weeks since she lost her firstborn... that is a very much wanted and loved baby, so is that really 'too long' a time to grieve??

The other comment she received was 'it's ok, you are still young, you can try again'... it's like 'hello??'... that baby is a LIFE. It's not about trying again... the next baby will be another life. He/ she will not and cannot replace the one that was lost. Probably a miscarriage is not treated as a form of death by most people. To them, it could be more like a medical condition which you can recover from... like flu??

Things were just begining to improve a little bit over here but after getting those comments, mom felt as though someone ripped open her wounds all over again...

Mom's learnt something from this... When you don't know what to say, it's best not to say anything at all... maybe just let the person know that you care and will be there for him/ her if needed, but not offering so-called 'advice' when it hurts the person even more.

*sigh*

33 comments:

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Those peeple are so mean. If they dont know what to say. I rather they keep quiet too...

Take good care of your mom ok Huskee..

~ Girl girl

Super Boy & Baby-Licious said...

Huskee,

Tell your mom that MY MOM says IGNORE THOSE IDIOTS!

Love
Baby Munchkins

BWTH Dog House said...

sad to hear that...thats y I asked mom to shut up. She always mess up everything....the more she say, the more trouble she got.

so we are here to send our slurpy licks again.
SLURP~~~~
and thanks again for the pressie.

slurpy licks,
BenBen

Luckie Girl said...

Well said indeed. There is a chinese saying that goes...bad food can be consumed and all it does is to cause a tummy ache but if we say hurtful words without thinking them though, the ache/pain it causes is usually irreversible.
I hope you are feeling better now. *hugsz*

Goofy said...

ohhh!!!! Frustrated to heard that!! bite their bum!!!

Ask them to shut up rather than talk stoopid things here!!! those have got no brain!!! brainless!

grrrrrrrrrrrrr

anyway, take care shane, ignore those stoopid ppl! take your time.. take your swwet sweet time to cure everything..

love and hugs here
lily & goofy

Maggie & Mitch said...

What awful things to say to your mom! We say ignore them - these people are obviously very mean spirited and very unfeeling!
BTW, that's a VERY handsome picture of you, Huskee!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Hammer said...

Hi Huskee
My mum is real proud of your mum, and if you get a chance bite those stoopid hoomans in the bum bum real hard. I wish I lived closer coz I'd help you and my teeth are biggerer than yours, and Rose and Hobson will help too, and Charlamayne will head butt them, and I'd hate to think what our mum would do to them.
There is a very good book 'On Grief and Grieving' written by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler. When mum read this, she realised all her feelings were NORMAL. If you can't buy this in Singapore, let me know and I'll organise mum to post this to you.
It's good your mum's boss is letting her work from home.
We are thinking of you all.
Love from Hammer and his mum

Jessie and Jake said...

We agree your mom can take as long as she wants. People should just shut up - they didn't go through what she did!

We will go bit their bums with you!

Deefor said...

From Deefor's Mom
Somehow being pregnant and all kinds of things related to having children-- make people lose their normal feelings and politeness and say things that are either none of their business or no help at all.

Try to talk to the supportive people and stay away from the others for now. Take care.

Deefor's Mom

Mango the Maltese kiddo said...

Hi Huskee,
My name's Mango the Maltese kiddo in USA.
Nice to meet you, the lovely half Maltese.
I love reading your blog, please visit mine.
Please hug your Mom for me, hope I could be a ray of light that cares about all of you and Baby Lucas.
XOXO

BrandytheGreat said...

Hmm, we should only listen to nice people..Nice cute pic of you Huskee.

Lacy said...

w00f's Huskee, Moosie, Mom and Dad...ya no, if THEY had lost a baby that they really wanted so bad, i wonder if they would tell themselves the same thing..dont listen to people like that.

b safe,
~rocky n mama~

Ruby Bleu said...

Huskee...you are doing such a great job taking care of your Mom and Dad! And yes, go take a bite out of those people!!! I'm sure they mean well, but you are SOOOOO right, best not to say anything!

Lots of Licks, ruby

Peanut said...

I will bite them for you. What stupid people.

Asta said...

HuskeeBoy
You and youw family and youw sweet Mom need to do whatevew youw heawts say...and gwieving is pawsonal ..you don't just "get ovew" aloss of a life and a loved child..those hoomans wewe weally stoopid who said those things..Youw Mom should ewase those immediately and not even wead them..we awe sending love and kisses and hugs and all ouw good thoughts..and hope they help you at this vewy difficult time..I'm glad hew boss is a nice hooman , who undewstands...Mommi says Fiwewoks awe womantic, and luckily I don't get scawed by them..I'm glad youw Mom liked ouw fouwf of july pictoowes..I hope they made hew smile fow a moment
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Amber-Mae said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you got hurt even more when those people made those comments. I'm sure many people & your friends are very saddened about what happened but sometimes, they just don't know what to say or put it in a correct way which can make it sound quite offensive. I'm not sure if there's anything I said in my comments that has hurt you too but if there is, then forgive me. I'm not very good at comforting friends actually. I just try my best to. And for those people who have no heart & feelings, they can just get lost! Simple as that. Please take care Shane, Huskee & family.

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Those people probably thought they were being helpful, but sometimes words are more hurtful than helpful.

You don't have to work through your grief on a schedule, so we hope you can ignore those comments.

Joe Stains said...

omdog! people are such jerks :(

Lorenza said...

Hi, Huskee!
You are right! No words is better than wrong words!
Your Mom, Dad, Baby Lucas and You are in our thoughts.
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

duo_disaster said...

We just have to agree: "No words is better than wrong words!"

Huskee, needn't raise strength to bite their bums for we guessed they're 'thick-skinned', so we're passing you a virtual hammer to knock them all out!

We're glad your Mum has a GOODY and understanding boss too.

Do take care of everyone at home.

E-Hugs:-
Rudolf & Goofy
Mummy Andrea

Simba said...

So many blogs to catch up on. Hope you had a good weekend.

Simba x

Lady Kaos said...

Tell your Mom to ignore those people!! How would they know how long it it takes to mourne after something like that? I bet they've never been through it! AND sure your Mom and Dad can try again, but that is so far out of their minds right now!! Your Mom and Dad need to take their time right now so that when they are ready to try again they are fully ready. If there's worry and stress it could affect your mom's health really bad.
Take your time, physical healing is a lot faster than emotional healing!
Give your Mom big hugs from me and my Mom.
Kaos

Amber said...

Hey Huskee, is a hard time for your mom now, we send some love and licks to her.hope she's cheer up! even a little bit~

take care~
Amber~

Murphey said...

People do say things they shouldn't....mourning can go on as long as we need it too. There is no time limit on pain. Just know that we send our love and puppy licks your Mom's way.

Murph, Reilly and Kathleen

-The Mullin Clan's Mommy- said...

Hey-Woo Huskee,

Do ya want us to come over (are you close to us in the States?!?) & pee on these people. No one can tell someone how they should feel. It's up to the individual hum-an to decide for themselves.

Take care of yur mom,

-Cosmos & Juneau-

JB's Big World said...

Oh no, I hope your mom is ok. I will send more purrs to her. Huskee, you must take care of your mom at this time and give her lots and lots of love.
--JB

Two Schnauzers from New England said...

Hi, Huskee Boy -

We hope you have a good weekend too. Thanks for coming to our BBQ. We feel so sad for your Mom (and Dad) too. People can really say such mean and hurtful things.

We are glad that your Mom has an understanding boss. And we are sure you will take good care of her and give her lots of licks and paw hugs from us.

Love -

Hershey and Kaci

P.S. I (Hershey) got sprayed by a skunk last night. PEEEEEEEEUUUUUUU!

Ms. _______ 2 be ! said...

Who are they to tell you what to feel or what to do. You take as much time as you need and take best care of yourself.

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Huskee...

Your mom is so right! Grief is individual. There is no right or wrong to it. There is no judgement. The German poet R. M. Rilke said something like: Two souls can shine together in joy, but not in pain. Meaning that pain is our own. And no one elses! And it is our own journey to walk....in our own time and in our own way.

We are continuing to think about ur mom and send healing thoughts her way. Huskee...we know your soft warm sweetness and your unconditional love is a comfort to her. Your mom's friends mean well...but haven't walked that path. They too will learn over time.

Lots of love and hugs coming through your computer to you all!!!!

Mumsie...surrounded by

Scruffy, Lacie and Stan!

Izzie said...

I'm just catching up on blog reading and I was so sad to read this chain of events. I'm so sorry for your loss. Lucas was so lucky to have felt your and daddy's love if only for such a short time. I know he felt it, and I know he carries it with him on the other side.

Stanley said...

Huskee Boy!

We here in GooberStan love you, MOosie Girl, your mama and your dad! We will never forget Baby Lucas, your first hooman litter mate.

Please hand out juicy goober smooches to everyone in your family, and take a few for yourself, buddy.

Goober love,
STanley

Eduardo said...

Hi My name is Eduardo, I'm a snuggle puggle I added you to my page, I hope you don't mind please visit my blog!
Hugs & Snugs,
Eduardo the Snuggle Puggle

Petra said...

Hi Huskee's mom, this is Petra's mom and we heard about you from Girl Girl. I'm just so sorry that you lost baby Lucas and my heart is breaking with yours. I've had 2 miscarriages and know how painful they can be. You are right; people can be very insensitive at times. Try to ignore the negative comments, grieve your baby's death, and let yourself be loved.