Huskee's mom: Sorry, I have 'hijacked' Huskee's blog again... I have consiously made an effort to try to stop talking/ writing about Lucas because I guess people will get tired of listening to me. However, I really couldn't help it here because for me, T-man's passing really brought back the memories of how painful it is to lose someone you love.
In my daily life, I have stopped wallowing in self-pity (as some people will put it) and stopped talking about Lucas altogether... like some people will say, I am 'getting my act together'. I am crying a lot lesser... and I have even achieved the feat of holding Mark's one year old nephew without breaking down. However, it doesn't mean that I am 'back to normal'... it just proves that I am getting better at hiding my emotions.. and that I can control myself a lot better now. One thing I can confirm is that I am definitely not a 'mental case' like what I initally thought!
I came across this poem when we lost Lucas, I felt that it was so meaningful and exactly described how I was feeling. Reading it again still makes me teary and I have shared it with T-man's mom. She must be going through such a rough time now and I wish there's something I can do...
They say memories are golden,
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.
A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
No one could ever fill.
If tears could build a stairway
And heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you back again.
Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
Can't wait for the 'link' to be complete...